Friday, April 13, 2012

Slight Change in Plans

Two days after returning from three weeks of adventurous travel for the wedding & honeymoon, we found out that we'd be leaving for India 18 days from now.  We initially planned on shipping the "stuff" to New Delhi to save a good bit on flight & hotel costs and because Brent didn't have the vacation time, so it was really going to hit us in the bank.

Jump back to a month ago, we went to make our semen analysis deposits.  Every guy going through surrogacy knows how uncomfortable this is and I won't complain because it's nothing compared to any medical procedure that women go through when trying to conceive.  It was just a nerve wracking experience before, during, and after.  I blame the before on my uncanny ability to worry myself to death before any medical anything (this is one test that you don't want to fail!), I blame the during on the bright fluorescent lights and medical diagrams on the wall not helping me produce sufficient goods, and I blame the after on having all eyes on me as I came out of the little room walking a cup of junk into a waiting room full of blue-haired 60-somethings.

And even through Brent and I went to the same Dr on the same day for a referral to the same lab for the same test, we both got totally different metrics reported back in the results.  Long story short, we emailed the results to Dr. Shivani and she reported back that the results weren't favorable enough for shipping and she'd rather us come to India during the egg collection so that we can provide fresh samples.  Nothing to really worry about (who me? never), there were healthy swimmers in the results, but we'd be better off being a part of the baby making on-site.

So we booked flights from Florida (ouch), booked a hotel on points (whew), got our visas, cleared the absence with our offices, who are going to let us work remote a bit so that we don't lose $ on unpaid leave (whew), and bought a Delhi travel book.  We're set!

In the end, this trip wasn't what we planned, but we are excited about it now.  From the beginning, I wanted to go to India so that we could explore a bit, rather than see it for the first time with a newborn (i.e. see only the hotel and the airport), and so that we could meet Dr. Shivani early on and meet the woman who is going to try to carry a human for us for 9 months (kind of a big deal).  We just didn't want to spend thousands of dollars if there was an option not to, since we don't know how many attempts this will take. Eventually the money will run out and I wanted to be conservative, but now that we have no choice but to make the trip,  we're embracing it and very excited for the adventure.  I think that having this experience in India will make us feel much more connected to the process and makes it all feel much more real.

We shouldn't have unpacked the suitcase!


  1. And as an added bonus... I am here! To be honest, I am SO thankful that we opted for the in-person visit, rather than shipping. Remember,the second time you come, you will have someone else to be worry about-- no time for apartment shopping, sightseeing, driver hunting, etc... You'll know what to expect-- and in a crazy city like Delhi, staying calm and collected is half the battle.

  2. Good luck guys. We just got back and are still recovering from jet-lag. India will certainly be an adventure. Can't wait to hear your impressions. One note of advice on depositing your "stuff": You may want to take your own viewing material as that provided by the clinic is pretty poor and not to our persuasion if you know what I mean! ;-) Facebook me if you need any more tips. Have fun!

  3. Can't wait to hear how you like it. Looks like we'll be starting around the same time (though us remotely). Good luck!!

  4. Good luck with everything and enjoy Delhi!!

  5. It will be worth visiting as you meet the fantastic Dr Shivani, your surro mum/s and you can check out Delhi to help you prepare for baby pick up in 9 months time. I wish you the best of luck. Hubby agrees with Ryan (India Calling) - the viewing material is so old and crap it is probably not to anyone's persuasion....I am sure there are other inspirations!!! Wishing you Babydust !!

  6. Wow, you guys are on the fast track. Glad I found your blog. We were going to ship to SCI when our surrogate here got pregnant (yes we had a few balls, so to speak, in the air).

    Glad you're going for the better odds. GOOD LUCK and look forward to future posts.

  7. You'll be glad you went. And yes, a smartphone with internet access will go a long way at the right moment. Good luck!