We revealed the news to all of our friends and family in the past week. Most of Brent's family already knew and have all been very supportive and excited for us. Their first grand babies & neice/nephew! We called or Skyped other friends scattered around the globe from Australia to Finland, again to much fanfare. I told work with a lot of excitement and then we made it official - posted it to Facebook. Once it's on the internet, it's true!
|I've previously mentioned Brent's geekiness. Fortunately, I think it's cute :)|
I had not told any of my family members until that point because to say that I have a rocky relationship with my family is an understatement and I was incredibly nervous. They're all very, very religious and they believe that my "choice" of "lifestyle" is a sin. They also believe that associating with me is to associate with sin and is therefore against their religion to have an active part in my life. We talk only once a year or so, though there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could just pick up the phone and call or just drop by to say hi for no good reason. I wasn't really sure how it'd go. I guess it went as well as it could have. They weren't negative and damning, but they weren't happy and excited either.
Of course, they asked who the father was. Brent and I decided early on that we weren't going to tell anyone who the genetic father is of either of our kids. The main reason was because, with our goal to have two kids, one with genetics from each of us, I didn't want my parents to treat our kids differently based on DNA. Of course, that DNA doesn't really matter to us, but I knew it would matter to them and I wouldn't be able to see them treat one differently than the other. So we didn't give them the option.
That said, I don't think that they will be a part of our kids lives anyway. It's sad because, other than their extreme religious beliefs, my family are the most amazing people and I feel like our kids are going to short changed for not having them in their lives. I know how hard it is to not have them in mine. Some of my most fond memories were with my grandparents and cousins and they won't have those memories from my side of the family. The other part of me feels bad for my parents and sisters. They've chosen to cut out not only their only son or brother, but now an innocent little baby. Most people can't fathom that. I don't meant to insult anyone's religious beliefs here, but I have to say that since the beginning of man, religion has made some otherwise normal people do some crazy ass things. It's also helped some people do the right thing. This just isn't one of them.
Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a pity-post. It's just part of our journey to becoming a family and it felt dishonest to edit this chapter out. It's something that I've processed and dealt with and was able to start to come to terms way back when we first decided to start our family.
We're very lucky to have Brent's family. We also have amazingly close friends who have become "family" and are going to make great Aunts & Uncles. These babies are going to be born into a family filled with love and are going to be spoiled rotten! I can't wait to drop them off at grandma's house, while Brent and I vacation in the islands for a week. Ha!
All in all, telling the world about this baby has really made it all feel so much more real. We're so excited!!
Charlie & Brent