Paying the Bills

We just sent a wire transfer to India for the deposit and egg collection.  Eek!

We spent most of Sunday morning trying to figure out the most cost effective way to send money to India.  Between the first kid and a sibling, the costs of sending money over there can nearly hit 3,000 USD.  I can think of a lot more fun things to do with 3k!

There are plenty of services out there for sending money to personal accounts, but not very many that will allow you to complete business transactions online.  In the end, I just went with my bank. They charge a $50 transfer fee and couldn't verify that exchange rate, so I am not sure if we got screwed on that or not.  In any case, it's sent and there is no turning back now on this process!

It's really hard to try to stay grounded during this early part of the process.   I can't say "we're going to be dads next year!" without feeling the need to add "if we get really lucky".  I'm trying to balance my excitement of possibly having a baby this time next year and the reality that it will likely take multiple attempts to complete our family.  Optimism vs. Statistics.  Either way, we know we'll be dads at some point in the future and that's pretty freaking exciting even if there are several bumps in the road on the way there!

C & B

Shopping

Brent and I have contacted Surrogacy Centre India to enroll in their surrogacy program.  The reason that we picked SCI is because we've heard nothing but good things about Dr Shivani and the staff.  Obviously not all attempts are going to produce positive results, but she has pretty good results.  We get very timely responses to all of our emails and just get a good vibe overall.

So, last Monday we were sent profiles of available egg donors.  We went through them all and narrowed it down to about 7.  We printed out the profiles and tried to set an order to them.  I hate shopping for cars, much less an egg donor.  It is such a strange feeling to pick out your children's DNA!  I wish that we had something to go on other than a photo and a few facts about their medical history.  I wish we could meetup for coffee or a drink first.  In the end, we picked what we thought was the best donor - proven past pregnancy, educated, and pretty!  The funny thing was that it was the first profile that I opened out of 40 or so.  We even went to a website to upload our photos into to predict what the baby may look like (photo to the right). Kind of silly, kind of vain, but we're planners.

We heard back from SCI that our top pick was available, so I think that we're all set to schedule the donor for treatment in May.  We picked May for a few reasons:

1. We want to be married first.  Call us traditional.
2. We may have some other, yet to be public, life changing event happening soon and we want that dust to settle pre-baby.
3. Money.  We're anti-debt people and we want to make sure that we will have enough money saved for both this baby and a sibling.  Not to mention any medical complexities that come along the way.

We've already started talking nursery and buying things.  We bought a toddler's Star Wars suitcase.  That probably tells you a few things about us:

1. Again, we're planners.  Already shopping for a three year old.  Totally cart before the horse. 
2. Brent is a little nerdy sometimes: Star Wars.
3. We love to travel and we're really hoping that doesn't have to change with kids.
4. We had drinks before we went to Target.  That never ends well.

Tonight, we're going through the enrollment form and then we will officially be on our way to parenthood!  We could be dads in as little as a year from now.  It's crazy to think.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes a Baby in a Baby Carriage

That's how the song goes on the playground and who am I to argue with an 8 year old, so here is a little more about the love and marriage part before this blog turns totally "baby in a baby carriage".

Brent and I met online the day after Thanksgiving in 2009.  He was in the process of divorcing his then wife and I was enjoying single life.  Neither one of us were really looking for anything too serious.  When we went on our first date a few days later, I knew that my life was about to change.  There is that saying "when you know, you know" and I knew.  He was "the one".  I won't go into all of the reasons right now,  so let's just say for now that I'm a very lucky guy and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't realize it.

I proposed to Brent in March of last year.  The proposal did not go at all like planned.  I was thinking I'd pull off a grand proposal like any Price Charming, but instead, I was nervous and awkward.  I guess if I wasn't nervous then it wouldn't have been right.  Either way, he said "yes".  :)

I thought that I wanted to have a wedding here in Tampa in front of 100 or so people that I only sort of like, eating overpriced sushi and drinking fancy champagne.  Brent wanted a simple beach wedding some place tropical.  Next month, we are flying to Dominical, Costa Rica to be married in front of 11 of our closest friends and family.  By now you can see who runs the house!  I am very happy that he got his way though because I know that I would have turned into Groomzilla (if I haven't already).  While there are a few people that we really wanted to share the day with that aren't able to make it, for the most part, the people who matter will be there.  On March 8th 2012, I get to marry the man of my dreams.

CM