Sunday, September 9, 2012


While we were visiting the future Uncle Brandon and Aunt Emily last weekend in Tucson, AZ, we got the email we've been hoping to receive for the past three weeks - our awesome surrogate has been discharged!   There is no more bleeding or spotting and the baby has been developing on track.

We are very thankful for the team at SCI for providing daily updates on her care and for the reassurance when we needed it.  To be blunt, we are also very thankful for the exchange rate...three weeks of constant care in the hospital and our grand total was only 3k.  That is the average cost of medical expenses for a hospital stay PER NIGHT in the US.  The difference in medical costs is outstanding, while at the same time, the difference between the medical attention and care that our surrogate receives is likewise outstanding.  The daily ultrasounds and daily heartbeat scans of our little one are unheard of here.  The fact that she is in top of the line facilities and that the staff is focused on her every comfort is comforting to us as well.  We owe the future version of our family to this wonderful woman.  

For the first time in a long time, thoughts have been on things other than waiting for the next daily update, keeping fingers and toes and eyes crossed, hoping we don't get that phone call.  Things are starting to feel more and more real.  On Friday, I had to tell my boss that I had a conflict with a project I am currently leading because of a "personal issue".  The go-live weekend for this work project is the same weekend as our projected due date.  The "Dunn-McKeithen Project" go-live that occurs in 6 months takes priority over the client go-live.  Telling my boss that I was going to have to stop leading the project, no matter what, was the first time that I felt like I was in control of something during this surrogacy process.  It was the first time that I was able to do something parental for our future children.

It's weird how it doesn't feel very real in the beginning of this surrogacy journey.  Then you see the egg donor profiles and it feels a little more real, then you go to India and it feels pretty exciting.  Then you get a negative and restart the process.  Or you get a positive and you're more excited than you were when you first landed that night in India, with all of those initial hopes, more excited than you've ever been to start a family.  The rest is a roller-coaster, but as weeks pass and you receive each scan, whether good or bad, you're further along on your personal journey and you're closer to being a parent.

In the meantime, I am reading the silly things on and printing and framing pictures of each baby scan (don't judge) from SCI, and also taping a piece of paper to the picture frame that correlates to the baby's size (OK, you can judge for that one).  It's still feeling more and more real each day.

Eventually we're going to start putting together a nursery and we're going to start picturing a baby crawling around in these four walls.  Then we'll fly across the world to greet the little guy or girl that is going to be our first child.  Becoming a family.  So amazing.