We are pregnant!

Boy, does it feel crazy good to be able to say that!  We got our beta results yesterday and the beta was 93.48.  At first I was worried that it was too low since we were 10 days past transfer with 5 day blastocysts, but was quickly reassured by Dr S, Meg, and Margarida that it's a good number.

We're so excited - it's nearly impossible to not tell everyone we know!  We've told Brent's immediate family and a couple of close friends who would have either figured it out quickly or needed to know in one way or another. Other than that, mum is the word.  Well, except for the whole world wide web...

I know we're not out of the woods yet and that this is probably still going to be a bumpy ride, but we are finally headed in the right direction and that feels amazing.

Woohoo!

Transfer & 2WW version 2.0

We got the report on Tuesday that they have completed the transfer of the embryos into our new surrogate.  All of the embryos survived the thaw and most of the embryos made it to blastocyst.  We would have been happy with just one "ok" blastocyst, so we're thrilled to have three!  One of them is a grade 4AA - really can't get any better than that!

The other good news is that this 2WW is a bit shorter than last time because the embryos have already developed so far.  The pregnancy test is on next Thursday (watch this space).  We've also been doing a fantastic job at keeping ourselves distracted during this attempt because our lives are being turned upside down in other areas (all good things) and we're feeling really positive this time around.

Hope all is well for everyone else out in blogville.

Charlie & Brent

Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads & "to-be" dads out there.  Even though Aussies celebrate in September, Happy Father's Day to you guys too!  (Fingers crossed that we'll be celebrating it slightly differently next year)


There isn't much going on over here - we're just waiting to transfer again, which will be in a couple of weeks, so I guess we're kind of in a 4WW.

If you're bored, check out this article written by a great dad:  A Father, a Son, and a Fighting Chance  He's the father of one of the guys who has directly helped push Proposition 8 in the direction of the Supreme Court.  It's a great story.

Wishing everyone out there good luck on their journeys!

C&B

Round 2

Following our negative result last week, we've transferred a large chuck of change over to SCI for round 2.  We didn't want to waste anytime trying again.  Getting the ball rolling again really helped us have something to look forward to, rather than dwelling on the failed attempt.

This time around, they are going to take 4 of the frozen 2 day old embryos and let them try to develop into 5 day embryos.  If any develop that far, they will use a laser to assist in hatching to improve our chances.  SCI says that they have a 60% success rate with this process, so fingers crossed.

Since only some of embryos survive the thaw and even fewer develop to blastocyst, we're likely looking at having one good embryo.  As long as we don't have zero, we're happy.  If anyone has experience with this, we're curious to know how many you thawed vs. how many made it to blastocyst.

We are scheduled to transfer again near the end of next month.  In the meantime, we just wait!

Negative

We received the beta report from SCI this morning and the value was less than two.  Blah.

The fact that we can read all of positive outcomes here in blog-land, even after parents had several failed attempts, makes it much easier to get past a negative result.  We know we will have a positive result.  It's just a game of patience and faith.

This was only our first attempt and we have 10 more frozen embryos.  We're staying positive.  Just waiting to hear back from SCI regarding when we can try again.

C&B

1WW

One more week until we receive the pregnancy test results.  EEK!

I've gone from having a funny feeling that we going to have a really high beta to having a feeling that it will be a negative result.  Now I am just trying to tell myself that this pregnancy test result doesn't mean that much.  If it's negative, we have 10 more frozen embryos.  If it's positive, it's way too early to celebrate anyway.  I think that's been the hardest thing so far - trying to balance the absolute excitement of possibility with the fear of heartbreak.

When do you break out the champagne?  When you get the donor you wanted?  When you have a good egg collection?  When the test is positive?  The first ultrasound?  Heartbeat?  2nd trimester?  The self-preservation part of me says to be cautious.  But the hopeful majority of me says "all of the above!"

To get some professional advice, I downloaded a magic 8 ball app for my iPhone.  According to it, we will test positive, it will be twins, we will not miscarry, and they will both be boys.  Although we wanted at least one girl, we obviously have nothing to worry about - if the iPhone says it, it has to be true.

Speaking of the iPhone, I might have to take a sleeping pill to get through next Tuesday night without checking it every three minutes for the pregnancy test results.  I toss and turn at night thinking about it already - I can only imagine what that night will be like.

I am trying to downplay it and just not think about it, but I am doing a terrible job so far.  Brent however, is totally Zen.

Egg collection & start of the 2WW

We made it back from India in one piece.  I can see why people love India and our one regret is that we weren't able to explore as much as we wanted to.  

When we landed back in the states, we received an email from Dr Shivani that 18 eggs were collected and 16 were mature.  The donor had only 8 eggs collected the last time she donated to a previous couple, so we were really excited to hear 16!  Of the 16 mature, 15 fertilized.  Of the 15, 14 survived the following days.  Of the 14, all 14 were grade I!  Of the 14, 10 were frozen.  We're very, very happy with the results! This means we have enough for 3 1/2 tries.  I was so worried that we'd only have enough for this first round!

Four of the eggs made their way into our lovely surrogate yesterday, so we're officially in the two week wait!  We're very excited to be at this point of the journey into parenthood - it's surreal that we're already here!  Let the nervous anticipation begin (er, continue).

While in India, we had the chance to meet our surrogate.  When asked if we wanted to meet her, I almost hesitated, but I'm so glad that we said yes.  She didn't speak any English, but we had a translator help us just say the basic things like "thank you so much for doing this for us", "we're very excited", etc.  It all happened in what seems like two seconds, but I will forever remember her using her sari to cover up her beautiful, nervous smile while we were meeting.  It was an incredible experience.

Right before we started aggressively pursuing surrogacy, I had a dream that we had a two year old son.  I was sitting down on the floor and he was climbing all over me and hugging my neck.  In the dream, there was a song playing.  This really stood out to me because my dreams never have soundtracks.  The dream was so vivid and felt so real and I woke up knowing that I was ready to be a father.  On our last night in India, the night before the egg collection, Brent and I were sitting in the lobby at the hotel day dreaming about our future as a family and that song started playing.  The singer, Jonsi, is a pretty obscure artist from Iceland, the song is a couple of years old, and I've never heard his music on the radio.  That link to my dream and the fact the it played at that exact moment really felt like the universe was sending us a message.

I can't believe we're here already. 

A few quick photos from the trip:

Egg collection day - so excited!

Antral follicle count daydreaming

I am one of those people who usually falls asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and then don't wake up until the alarm clock sounds (if even then).  This baby making business is certainly changing that.  I spent most of last night laying in bed trying to figure out our odds of having a baby on this first try and the extra cost if we don't.  

The egg donor that we selected has previously donated, in which case they retrieved nine eggs.  At first this sounded like a pretty good number (it only takes one!), but after a bit of internet research, this sounds on the low side.  Then I started thinking about the odds that they'd fertilize.  Say 65% successful fertilization, we'd have 6 eggs.  Maybe 4 would be good enough to transfer and the other two aren't worth freezing for a second attempt.  Then maybe a 50/50 shot for pregnancy test result.  

I know that it isn't simple math and there are million factors, I guess I am just trying to prepare myself.  As the worrier in our relationship, it's impossible not to let my mind go there.  The eggs haven't even been retrieved yet and I am already experiencing the stress of being a parent!

I didn't think I'd be be obsessing over follicle counts, much less know what they are.  We got an email from Dr Shivani this morning saying that everything is on track for our arrival next week and the egg collection.  She said that the antral follicle count is close to 20.  According to google, that could mean anything, so for now, I am focusing on the fact that it is higher than zero!

I have to pinch myself every once in a while to remind myself that this is really happening.  This time next week, I will be standing up from my desk.
To get in my car.
To go to the airport.
To get on a plane.
To land in India.
To start our family.

Slight Change in Plans

Two days after returning from three weeks of adventurous travel for the wedding & honeymoon, we found out that we'd be leaving for India 18 days from now.  We initially planned on shipping the "stuff" to New Delhi to save a good bit on flight & hotel costs and because Brent didn't have the vacation time, so it was really going to hit us in the bank.

baby?

Jump back to a month ago, we went to make our semen analysis deposits.  Every guy going through surrogacy knows how uncomfortable this is and I won't complain because it's nothing compared to any medical procedure that women go through when trying to conceive.  It was just a nerve wracking experience before, during, and after.  I blame the before on my uncanny ability to worry myself to death before any medical anything (this is one test that you don't want to fail!), I blame the during on the bright fluorescent lights and medical diagrams on the wall not helping me produce sufficient goods, and I blame the after on having all eyes on me as I came out of the little room walking a cup of junk into a waiting room full of blue-haired 60-somethings.

And even through Brent and I went to the same Dr on the same day for a referral to the same lab for the same test, we both got totally different metrics reported back in the results.  Long story short, we emailed the results to Dr. Shivani and she reported back that the results weren't favorable enough for shipping and she'd rather us come to India during the egg collection so that we can provide fresh samples.  Nothing to really worry about (who me? never), there were healthy swimmers in the results, but we'd be better off being a part of the baby making on-site.

So we booked flights from Florida (ouch), booked a hotel on points (whew), got our visas, cleared the absence with our offices, who are going to let us work remote a bit so that we don't lose $ on unpaid leave (whew), and bought a Delhi travel book.  We're set!

In the end, this trip wasn't what we planned, but we are excited about it now.  From the beginning, I wanted to go to India so that we could explore a bit, rather than see it for the first time with a newborn (i.e. see only the hotel and the airport), and so that we could meet Dr. Shivani early on and meet the woman who is going to try to carry a human for us for 9 months (kind of a big deal).  We just didn't want to spend thousands of dollars if there was an option not to, since we don't know how many attempts this will take. Eventually the money will run out and I wanted to be conservative, but now that we have no choice but to make the trip,  we're embracing it and very excited for the adventure.  I think that having this experience in India will make us feel much more connected to the process and makes it all feel much more real.

We shouldn't have unpacked the suitcase!

The Dunn-McKeithens

Brent and I tied the knot!

Last month, in front of close family and friends in Costa Rica, we made it official (well, as official as we can until we make it official-official when we get to a state where gay marriage is legal).   There were a few missing people who wanted to be there, but for one reason or another could not make it (we missed you!).  Other than that, it was all absolutely perfect in every way.

We rented out a villa near Dominical, Costa Rica.  It was just us, family, friends, drinks, great food, sunshine, and relaxation.  Everyone there made it perfect.  We wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I am a pretty calm and collected person, but I cried like a baby while saying my vows.  Looking into my future husbands eyes, declaring this commitment in front of the most important people to us, the moment just got me.  I think that the last time I cried was 1997.  Brent said that was his favorite part, but I am still hoping that doesn't make it into the wedding video (wishful thinking).    

Other than Brandon looking annoyed to be there and Dad being behind the camera, this was the crew.

 Our villa for the week

And they lived happily ever after!

Next up, the honeymoon!