Discharged!

While we were visiting the future Uncle Brandon and Aunt Emily last weekend in Tucson, AZ, we got the email we've been hoping to receive for the past three weeks - our awesome surrogate has been discharged!   There is no more bleeding or spotting and the baby has been developing on track.

We are very thankful for the team at SCI for providing daily updates on her care and for the reassurance when we needed it.  To be blunt, we are also very thankful for the exchange rate...three weeks of constant care in the hospital and our grand total was only 3k.  That is the average cost of medical expenses for a hospital stay PER NIGHT in the US.  The difference in medical costs is outstanding, while at the same time, the difference between the medical attention and care that our surrogate receives is likewise outstanding.  The daily ultrasounds and daily heartbeat scans of our little one are unheard of here.  The fact that she is in top of the line facilities and that the staff is focused on her every comfort is comforting to us as well.  We owe the future version of our family to this wonderful woman.  

For the first time in a long time, thoughts have been on things other than waiting for the next daily update, keeping fingers and toes and eyes crossed, hoping we don't get that phone call.  Things are starting to feel more and more real.  On Friday, I had to tell my boss that I had a conflict with a project I am currently leading because of a "personal issue".  The go-live weekend for this work project is the same weekend as our projected due date.  The "Dunn-McKeithen Project" go-live that occurs in 6 months takes priority over the client go-live.  Telling my boss that I was going to have to stop leading the project, no matter what, was the first time that I felt like I was in control of something during this surrogacy process.  It was the first time that I was able to do something parental for our future children.

It's weird how it doesn't feel very real in the beginning of this surrogacy journey.  Then you see the egg donor profiles and it feels a little more real, then you go to India and it feels pretty exciting.  Then you get a negative and restart the process.  Or you get a positive and you're more excited than you were when you first landed that night in India, with all of those initial hopes, more excited than you've ever been to start a family.  The rest is a roller-coaster, but as weeks pass and you receive each scan, whether good or bad, you're further along on your personal journey and you're closer to being a parent.

In the meantime, I am reading the silly things on babycenter.com and printing and framing pictures of each baby scan (don't judge) from SCI, and also taping a piece of paper to the picture frame that correlates to the baby's size (OK, you can judge for that one).  It's still feeling more and more real each day.

Eventually we're going to start putting together a nursery and we're going to start picturing a baby crawling around in these four walls.  Then we'll fly across the world to greet the little guy or girl that is going to be our first child.  Becoming a family.  So amazing.

C&B    

The liquor is adequate

Our surrogate is still in the hospital and there is still an area of subchorionic bleed covering 3/4 of the sac.  I guess we should just be happy that it hasn't gotten worse!

The good news is that the heartbeat is going strong at 167 BPM and the baby is measuring a week ahead of schedule.  Also, the nuchal lucency test came back normal and a nasal bone can be seen in the scan.  Woohoo!

With the bleed scare, the liquor has been adequate in calming me the eff down, but I am not sure how that relates to the baby's health?

We were looking forward to telling all friends and family next week that we're going to be parents, but, considering the past two scares and the fact that our surrogate is still in the hospital, we're probably going to wait a few weeks.

All in all, we're feeling pretty positive about how things are going.  As long as that little heartbeat keeps beating and the baby keeps growing, we're happy!  Knowing that our surrogate is under nearly constant observation helps.  I hope she isn't bored out of her mind.

In other news, Brent's dad came to visit us for a little mini-vacation.  He is currently living in Vietnam, so the last time that we saw him was at our wedding.  He brought us some cool baby clothes from Vietnam (he is one of the few people who knows).  We went to Vancouver for the weekend and had a great time.    Beautiful place!

Back in the hospital

What a rollercoaster surrogacy is.  I am sure I am preaching to the choir in most instances.

This morning we received our 10 week scan.  The baby is measuring at 10 weeks (right on track) and the heart rate is normal (150), but there is more subchorionic bleeding.  We've been through this last month and it cleared up quickly.  This time round has me a bit more worried because the bleed covers 3/4 of the sac, while last time it was only adjacent to the sac.  It just sounds more serious.  Dr. Google is no help.

Our surrogate is back in the hospital and on bed rest, so we should hopefully hear some better news the day after tomorrow (tomorrow is Independence Day in India).  In the meantime, I am trying to focus on the positive things to be thankful for:

1.  The baby's growth is on track
2.  These bleeds often clear up
3.  The surrogate isn't in pain.
4.  She is receiving excellent care

I need to lay off of the caffeine and google.  Brent, as usual, is as cool as a cucumber (I am thankful for that, too).  

Having said all of that, the awesome Bernadette has finally made it home after nearly 5 months in India, so maybe I should stop my complaining.  :)

Positive thoughts!

Charlie & Brent

7 Week Scan

We received a seven week scan this week, following the recommendation from the obstetrician & the bleed scare.  The scan was good and the little one is measuring at 7w6d, so we're at 8 weeks already.  Crazy!

The only bad news is that we're pretty sure that the baby is actually Chang from the television show, Community.

More Good News

Just a quick update - we got an email from Dr Shivani that the bleeding has totally stopped and our surrogate has been released from the hospital.  Champagne!  

The Good, the Bad, and the Baby

This morning we received our second ultrasound results (a day late).  They found a 15x14 mm area of subchorionic bleed adjacent to the sac.  The good news is that a heartbeat was detected at 138 beats per minute, which is a great solid number.  Also, the baby is measuring 6 weeks and 5 days, which is actually 4 days ahead of where it should be according to our transfer dates, so that's awesome news too.  The baby appears to be growing at full speed ahead!  Because of the bleeding, they're keeping the surrogate in the hospital to keep a close eye on her progress.  Our next scan isn't for another two weeks, so in the meantime, no news is good news.  Fingers crossed that this little one keeps growing!  

Adios! Ciao! Bye!

That's the extent of my foreign language skills.

Brent gave me this card on the morning we found out that
 we're  pregnant.  He wasn't kidding!

Brent and I have packed up the house and we're moving from our home in Florida for new adventures in Seattle, Washington.  You really can't have a more drastic move in the continental US.  We love Florida for many reasons, but we know that we don't want to raise our kids here. The country is evolving all over in many good ways, but Florida is still pretty backwards on a lot of social issues and we want to be in a place where our kids will feel "normal".  In my 20 years living in Florida, I have not seen even one set of gay dads.  Two guys walking through the mall with kids in tow would be like a shock to everyone here.  We'd rather be in a place where we can show up to our kids school together and not turn everyone's heads.  This was something that I initially struggled with because someone has got to pave the way for other future gay families, so why don't we pave the way.  In the end, if we can put our children in an environment where having two dads isn't an issue, we'll do it.  I don't expect Seattle to be all rainbows and unicorns, but Seattle has a much more welcoming attitude to families of all shapes.  So that's that.  

We've made a lot of friends here who have become our family.  Seriously like brothers & sisters.  Leaving them is going to be one of the hardest things we'll do in our lives.  Some that we will miss:



Me, John, Jason, Julie, Brent, Michelle, & Jenn.  They're going to make great Aunts & Uncles!

It's going to be weird living in a place without palm trees everywhere.  At the same time, it will be nice to experience four seasons, rather than summer, summer, summer, and summer.  We'll be happy to see the leaves change and even some snow.

This was from last Friday as we met Michelle & Jenn for Michelle's birthday dinner.  Jenn insisted (with a very evil eye) that they pay for half, even though it was meant to be our treat, so we're taking that money as the starting funds for our travel savings so that we can see them as much as possible.

 

This was also from last weekend.  Most of our weekends here were spent laying outside, reading, having some drinks, and just enjoying lazy Florida life.  We probably won't be having many frozen drinks in the backyard by the pool in Seattle because of the big temperature change.  The good news is that if we're lucky with this pregnancy, we won't be having much time for relaxing by a pool anyway!

A few more things that we'll miss:

Tropical flowers from the yard. 

The herb garden, including the rosemary that takes up a 4x4x4 area!
I wish we could take that beast with us!

Florida bugs. OK, we won't miss all of the nasty bugs that Florida has (lovebugs especially!!),
but this little critter cocooned last weekend and we will miss seeing his transformation
and butterlies dancing around the yard.

The wide open field behind the house. 
The silly cows and the Spring season that brings new calf. 
The beautiful sunsets.

Entertaining for our friends.

Brent's famous spicy rosemary cashews.  Granted, he can still make this even without
that moster rosemary plant, but since I posted my cupcakes from last weekend, I had to
post something of his.  :)  These things are addicting!

Our little lizard friends - eating spiders and chasing each other on the patio. 
Not many of these guys in cold, rainy Seattle!



One last sunset for good measure.

Seriously though, it was a really, really hard decision.  We're excited for all of the new adventures and experiences we will have in the Pacific Northwest, but not being able to pop over to see our friends for every little promotion, birthday, holiday, etc. is going to be the biggest adjustment for me.  I know that after a while, flying out a couple of times a year and hanging out on Skype or FaceTime a lot will be the new normal, but it will take some getting used to.  In the long run, it's the right thing to do for our evolving family.   

Goodbye, Tampa, for now. We'll be back again soon!

We are pregnant!

Boy, does it feel crazy good to be able to say that!  We got our beta results yesterday and the beta was 93.48.  At first I was worried that it was too low since we were 10 days past transfer with 5 day blastocysts, but was quickly reassured by Dr S, Meg, and Margarida that it's a good number.

We're so excited - it's nearly impossible to not tell everyone we know!  We've told Brent's immediate family and a couple of close friends who would have either figured it out quickly or needed to know in one way or another. Other than that, mum is the word.  Well, except for the whole world wide web...

I know we're not out of the woods yet and that this is probably still going to be a bumpy ride, but we are finally headed in the right direction and that feels amazing.

Woohoo!

Transfer & 2WW version 2.0

We got the report on Tuesday that they have completed the transfer of the embryos into our new surrogate.  All of the embryos survived the thaw and most of the embryos made it to blastocyst.  We would have been happy with just one "ok" blastocyst, so we're thrilled to have three!  One of them is a grade 4AA - really can't get any better than that!

The other good news is that this 2WW is a bit shorter than last time because the embryos have already developed so far.  The pregnancy test is on next Thursday (watch this space).  We've also been doing a fantastic job at keeping ourselves distracted during this attempt because our lives are being turned upside down in other areas (all good things) and we're feeling really positive this time around.

Hope all is well for everyone else out in blogville.

Charlie & Brent

Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day to all of the dads & "to-be" dads out there.  Even though Aussies celebrate in September, Happy Father's Day to you guys too!  (Fingers crossed that we'll be celebrating it slightly differently next year)


There isn't much going on over here - we're just waiting to transfer again, which will be in a couple of weeks, so I guess we're kind of in a 4WW.

If you're bored, check out this article written by a great dad:  A Father, a Son, and a Fighting Chance  He's the father of one of the guys who has directly helped push Proposition 8 in the direction of the Supreme Court.  It's a great story.

Wishing everyone out there good luck on their journeys!

C&B